Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
