I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize