You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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