That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
