why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
