Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
