i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
