How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
