I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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