i was rollin on her like bob the builder
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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