Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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