I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
