There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
fuck your aforementioned shoe
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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