he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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