I got chris browned last night
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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