Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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