How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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