Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
