Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
