her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
