Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
