he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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