Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
