high people should be assigned attendants
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize