I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
