So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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