and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Someone signed my nipple.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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