is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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