a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
