hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
