playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
