The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
