2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
