dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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