I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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