I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
