Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
