she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
