Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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