i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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