you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
