I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
