I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
You don't make any sense
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