Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Girls should come with a carfax report
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
