i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
