the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
