Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize
