Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Randomize
