He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
