so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Never let your siblings swipe right.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
