good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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