READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
