I want to stick my p in your. b.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
