Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
