I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
And my parents said I crawled through the house
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
