I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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