hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
