Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
