i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
