My sheets look like a crime scene.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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