it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
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