I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
