"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
