I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
