Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
