So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
