With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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