YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Farmville is her only friend.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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